Homesick

As the weather outside gets warmer and warmer, hinting of spring to come and of the hot and humid summer after that, the feeling of homesickness in me grows. Every year without fail I’ve been in the United States at least once. Until now. It’s been a year and a half now since I’ve been in Los Angeles, my birthplace and the place I used to associate with family – my grandparents were there, my aunts used to be there, and much of my mother’s extended family is still there along with many old family friends.

Lately, every time I hear the word “airplane” or “abroad” or “airport” I feel a sharp stab somewhere above my midriff. It’s hard to explain, but it’s a sort of tug that’s present much of the time. Almost every day feels like that sort of odd day when you know you’re facing a long plane-ride that will take you half-way around the world. Almost every day is that weird weather that my memories connect so vividly to the season in which my family and I used to fly to the US.

It’s crazy to feel homesick towards a place that I lived in for barely three years. two of which I can’t remember because I was obviously much too young. It’s crazy to miss a period of time, a house, an event, a type of breeze so badly that it literally aches. It’s crazy to look around while riding the bus and trying to imagine that the buildings outside are those of another city, another place in time entirely. It’s just crazy.

And yet, I can’t help it. I’m homesick.

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6 thoughts on “Homesick

  1. I don’t think this is crazy at all. There is something very painful about being homesick. It’s a real pain that hurts very much. I’ve felt it many times in my life. I do believe a lot in “home is where the heart is” but there is something so strong about memories and feelings and that breeze you talked about. I hope your feeling better.

  2. I lived in CT for about 16 years… and I moved to Joeys… After 12 years of being there, I visited Cape Town and all of a sudden… Bam. It hit me. I wanted to come home. Such a strong feeling. I always knew that one day… one day I would find myself back here… but I never thought it would be because of a feeling. Because, all of a sudden it was “time”. Bam. done. moment happened, and it was time to be here… perhaps that’s what you feel… its time to be there…

  3. One does not have to live in one place for a long time to feel homesick for it. Some experiences are brief, but they leave a lasting impression on us.

  4. I think its perfectly normal to feel how you do. I know for a fact that whenever I’m not in London I want to be back there. I have a cankering for my own bed – my own place. Theres always a certain smell, a feel, an emotion about a city that you wear like a cloak.

    I don’t think we ever give up our security blankets as children. I think we just transform our world into one. Wrapping up against the cold night. Ahhh – The city is a mistress, warm in her bossoms.

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