On Edge

Fingers tapping against coffee mug, restless; legs changing positions every few seconds, unable to be still for long; eyes blinking constantly, darting from one corner of the room to the next, searching, searching… for what?

I’m on edge. I don’t know why, I don’t know what caused it. I’m on edge.

Shadows in the corners seem to loom at me, bigger whenever I see them from the corner of my eye. Time seems to stand still or leap forwards in endless and illogical bounds, breaking all feeling of sequence from the day. Everything seems too silent, too still, to be reality. Feels like a dream.

No dream, though. Pinching doesn’t result in pain so much as a curious feeling, a connection to the here and now. Unexplicabley real and present, it helps a little. Still, that feeling can surface in dreams as well. Maybe I’ll wake up? Maybe I won’t. Maybe reality is sometimes dreamlike. Maybe we have to learn to live with that.


6 thoughts on “On Edge

  1. thelittleredwriter says:

    Ick. I hate when I get that feeling. You made me all antsy just reading this! LoL Good job!

  2. chloë says:

    hi em
    thanks for your words, you are right, i am in a different place with different thoughts & there’s no need for me to reflect back to that time anymore
    i erased all the messages after i wrote that entry; time heals all wounds.

    do you suffer with anxiety too(?) xo

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