I’m rereading my finished novel, the first in what would ideally be a series. Yes, it’s a fantasy novel, in case you were wondering.

Reading it over now is bizarre. I can remember quite clearly what I was thinking as I wrote most parts, and it’s sort of fudging with the whole process. I’m reading it through for the first time without making any notes at all – I’m just trying to get a general feel for it and see if I like it. On my next read I’m going to start taking notes on big points that bother me, as well as fixing typos and things like that. Then, so the plan goes, I’ll start rewriting, adding and subtracting, changing brutally if I need to.

Meanwhile, I’m also trying to build a world for the novel I’m going to write for NaNoWriMo. I’m beginning to get a real feel for the fictional world and city that I’m building (yes, yes, another fantasy novel – I’ll try something else next, believe me) but I’m having trouble writing it down. Hence today’s rambling post, written right on my desktop computer for your viewing pleasure (or snores, or boredom, or simply your not reading it – those are okay too.)

I managed to keep up my writing schedule well for so long, but now that I’m done with the first draft, I’m having trouble writing again. I don’t know if it’s writer’s block, circumstances being annoying lately, or simply my mind needing some time to rest, but whatever it is – it’s frustrating and confusing me. On the one hand, I’m so pleased that I managed to finish a proper first draft of something. On the other hand, I’m not all that pleased with the result, and although I know that’s part of the process, I’m having trouble accepting it. Then, on the third hand, (because my hand-structure is clearly a being with more than two hands – I’m writing fantasy after all, right?) I’m simply annoyed with myself for not being able to write anything new. On the fourth hand, my annoyance is shifted and turns into fear that I’ll never be able to write anything again. The fifth hand has given up on trying to restrain the other four, and it and the sixth hands are just hanging out together.

Can you tell I’m going a little batty? Well, it’s because I am.


5 thoughts on “Confused

  1. suzicate says:

    Sometimes, it helps to put it away for a wekk, amonth, or longer to be able to look at it objectionally.It’s hard to rip apart soemthing you’ve just struggled to complete. However, as awesome as your writing is, I am sure it is superb!

  2. unabridgedgirl says:

    I agree with Suzicate. I think maybe putting the novel away for now, just for a breather, might help the anxiety you’re feeling toward writing right now. I was having issues with my story, and I left it alone for a bit, came back, and found the words easy. I think that’s how it goes with any writing. You’ve just accomplished a major feat. Don’t be concerned that you’re just ended your writing all together. You’re Ems. You’re brilliant, and I know you have plenty more talent to come.

  3. I tend to agree with the two who commented before me. Writing is just one of those things you just can’t force. The only problem is one can put it “away” for too long. Just keep bringing it out and looking at it. Maybe make tiny baby changes once in while. Maybe try new writing spots of put music on or turn it off. I think the biggest thing is to relax and it will flow then it’s right for you.

    I’m happy for you that you’ve accomplished this much. Good for you girlie.

  4. Erin M says:

    We’re soon going to have as many people in agreement as you’ve got other hands . . . but I’m going to add my nod to what everyone else has said.

    It does help to put writing away for a while.

    And you will write again! I always find that after I’ve finished a major story, my brain takes a while to recuperate before I can write anything else.

    And again, congratulations on finishing your novel! That’s so awesome! And good luck on your world-building for NaNoWriMo. =D

  5. Miss Rosemary says:

    I’m probably going to be writing fantasy for NaNoWriMo too! Which is weird because it’s not usually my genre. But I absolutely HATE rereading old work because, like you, I’m never quite sure what I was thinking!

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