Sometimes I Want My Ribbons Back

I didn’t write yesterday.

That was very, very, bad. Granted, the fault was not my own, since work finished late and I had to dash home and then out again within minutes because of a meeting I had planned with Sir B. F. and yet it still should not have happened.

Days that escape our control are hard. I think this is true for many people – we have our days planned a certain way, whether it is the same routine every day or whether we have a schedule we adhere to on certain days. When something gets in the way and changes things, it’s frustrating, it’s hard. We feel the control of our day wrenched cruelly out of our control, and we struggle to adapt ourselves to it.

The real strength is in adapting, and this is something I admire in more spontaneous people – the lack of worry when things don’t go as planned, the ability to drop everything and do something on a whim. Since becoming “an adult” who works and has “important things to do” I feel that I’ve become way too responsible for my own good.

Whenever I feel like this, I can’t help thinking of the Tori Amos song “Ribbons Undone” – and most specifically this line: “From school she comes home and cries ‘I don’t want to grow up, Mom. At least not tonight.'”


6 thoughts on “Sometimes I Want My Ribbons Back

  1. Yup yup. The one thing that we can’t change is change itself! 🙂 No days go by where something that I’ve “planned” is not messed up, or messed with. Every day I start saying “I’m leaving at 6.30… some days I leave at 6.20, sometimes 6.40… So it never starts as I plan it… but it always ends as I do… in bed, with my two kitty’s on my bed, and my boy pup sleeping on the floor beside me… And that is what keeps me sane!

  2. You always need to plan your day/life in some sort of way – but i think it might be good not to write them in stone.. If you feel anger/frustration over things coming in your way of planned things you need to just relax, take a deep breath and try and see it as it was supposed to happen..
    Everything happens for a reason, life happens and your are making it up as you go – there need to be room for changes (even in the smallest things) but as you say – it´s hard to adapt to them..
    I think we just need to let it in, realize our everyday life will probably never be exactly as we planned it and just try and see what good comes from the unexpected things 😉

  3. This is one of my biggest obstacles. I also really admire people who can be spontaneous. I envy them. I am such a creature of habit and “the sameness” of life. It is a problem with me also. It’s caused me many stresses in my life and I’ve tried “breathing” and meditating in order to calm myself when something upsets my apple cart. Things throw me so easily that afterwards I wonder why in the world I can’t just let things happen. It’s only “in the moment” that I get stressed and upset and think “what am I going to do.” Later I realize that the world is still spinning and the sun will still come out tomorrow.

    Great post Emily.

  4. @Lotta – I know, that’s exactly the problem. Rationally, I know it’s not the end of the world when something changes, and I know that I just need to see it in a positive way. But doing it in the moment is much easier said than done.

    @Joy – Ah! A kindred spirit! I also always think afterward about how stupid all that getting upset and stressing was… Thank you, Joy :).

  5. misswillow says:

    Ha ha, I never have a day that goes completely to plan. I like to think I am responsible and plan things out. Every day I set out with a plan of what I need to do, and I pretty much fill up the whole day, with no time for myself. But situations arise each day that knocks my whole schedule off balance, and then a few things I had planned are then put off until tomorrows schedule.
    The only thing I miss about being a kid, is being relatively care free, yeah I had typical kids worries and some not so typical, but I never had to plan my days around responsibility to others, the people who rely on you when you are an adult.

    I want to be a kid again! lol

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