Ancient Greece, course number 10110, exam at the New High-School at 4PM. Tomorrow.
That sounds like I’m taking an exam IN ancient Greece. But no, I haven’t learned the secrets to time travel… yet.
The day after tomorrow, Friday, is the day before my birthday. I’ll be going with my friends to a cafe in Jaffa to listen to some jazz and then walk around the flea market.
Saturday, June 26, is my birthday. I’m turning twenty. Last year, I was extremely depressed before my nineteenth birthday, but this year, I don’t feel much of anything. Does it scare me that I won’t be an official “teen” anymore? Yes. Does it scare me that “twenty” sounds so grown up? Yes. Is there a little part inside of me that’s screaming at me to get down on the ground, play with dolls, make faces at boys I don’t like, and stay a child forever? Yes. But then, there are good things that come with age. I can’t think of anything that I didn’t have last year or the year before, but that doesn’t mean there won’t be. Anyway, I have more important things to figure out at the moment – like getting back to health so I can get back to college.
Yes, I’m going back to college – I hope, I think, I want – but not yet. It’s going to be spring-semester. So meanwhile I’m here, until October when I need to send my letters in and proclaim that on all fronts, I’m better.
But how am I going to spend my time? What am I going to do? Well, I have a few objectives, none of which are easy:
1. I’m going to relax. I swear, hand on heart, hand on my favorite teddy, hand on my favorite book, I swear that I don’t know how to relax. Not really, not for stretches of time. There’s always something I should be doing. Something I’m supposed to be doing. Something productive, that looks good on a resume, that will make me busy so that no one will be able to tell me that I’m wasting my time. So, once and for all, I’m going to say NO to that overachiever inside me – I’m going to tell her that I’m taking a break, whether she likes it or not. This may be the one and only time in my life that I’ll be absolutely, 100% free to rest and relax and catch up on my gaming, my reading, my fun. I don’t know if I’ll manage, but I’m going to try. You may think – this is the easiest damn thing in the world, how can this be a hard thing to do? Well, let me tell you, you don’t live in my head. This is going to be a real challenge, and it’s probably going to be the one thing I won’t manage to do.
2. Having said all that, I don’t want to loll around in bed all day, every day. I just want to do something that I want to be doing. So, my next objective, is to finish the four games I have that I’ve not yet finished, that were expensive, and that I REALLY want to play. You may say what you want about video/computer games, since I know there are many people who are against them. But you know what? To me, they’re stories. They’re stories I get to be in, get to participate in and get to anticipate and wait for what comes next and to be responsible for it. It’s like an extremely interactive Choose Your Own Adventure Book for me.
3. Take drawing lessons and maybe voice lessons. I’ve always wanted to know how to draw, and as for my voice… well, I’ve always been one of those people who sing along to everything – including making weird noises when the horns/piano/guitar are playing. But it’s scary, putting myself, my voice, a deep part of who I am, out there to be scrutinized and looked at and played around with. So this idea is still going around my brain and I’m thinking about it.
….and, the most important of them all:
4. I’m going to write. I’m going to make a schedule. I’m going to put aside two hours a day, every day, starting next week, and during those two hours I’m going to be dead to the world. I’ll take no calls, I’ll see no friends, I’ll make no excuses. Can I get up to make coffee? Sure. If I go on holiday, will I take a break? Possibly. But I’m treating this as a job. Not in a bad way – not at all. This is exciting me almost more than the rest of them. Because if I dedicate, say, half an hour to writing in my blog on an average day, then the other hour and a half will be going towards one of my bigger projects. There are three serious ones at the moment, and I’m going to have to play around with all of them and choose which one I want to be serious about right now. But I’m going to do this. I have to do this. I have to see that I’m able to do this and enjoy it. Because, as every writer I’ve ever heard has said, part of writing is just learning to sit your butt down and write. And write. And write.
So there it is. My summer schedule. All wrapped up in four nice points. Now I just have to stick with it.
10 thoughts on “A Schedule”
Ahhhh, I want a schedule to write. Please let me know how this works for you and any advice on how to make it happen. My biggest problem is focus. And discipline. And stamina. Wait, that’s three things. I’d better stop there. The list will get too long!
good luck with your exam and happy birthday for tomorrow!
i can’t believe you’re only going to be 20 – all this time i’ve been reading/following your blog thinking you were older than me, you’re so much more wiser
(i’m turning 23 in december.. eeek)
all the best my dear & have a fabulous birthday xox
It sounds like a good plan to me, especially the writing part. You may be able to write enough to one day reshape it into a novel. Right now don’t think of it as a novel. That may hinder you. Just write about what you want to with plenty of details in it. Then maybe in a few weeks, while the events are still fresh in your mind, go back and see if you have enough material for a novel. Then write your novel.
I had to learn how to relax. I used to be terrible at relaxing. I completely understand, Ems.
It sounds like you will/should have a nice summer, though, and I hope that you do! I am excited for your wriitng. You are an amazing writer, and you have incredible talent to do great things.
I really loved reading some personal stuff from you. Everything sounds good. I’m glad you’re going back to school. Relax, take a deep breathe and have a great birthday.
I think that your summer schedule is GREAT. I can relate to having to learn how to relax. As type A personalities don’t take swiftly to allowing yourself to have fun and enjoy. That is fantastic that you will be heading back to school, too!
Happy early Birthday!
This sounds lovely. Relaxing is so important. Really relaxing, not letting yourself get distracted by chores and social obligations. And that paired with writing faithfully every day? Perfect! I wish I could join you.
PS – I can’t believe you’re only 20 (in two days). You are so much wiser and more polished than your years!!
I love it! This sounds like a great plan! Best of luck to you on relaxing, on writing, and on beating those games (what are they, mind if I ask?). And on drawing and singing. Also, I really, really hope your health allows you to go back to college. *hugs*
And have a super-happy, amazing, wonderful birthday tomorrow!
Happy birthday! I just turned twenty myself in March. It feels weird saying it. But I think we should still enjoy college and youth while we have it 🙂 (God that really sounds like an old fart talking!)
WOAH! You’re twenty, too?! I was sure you were much older than me – the level of maturity in your posts made me think that…