And If You

And if you sing tonight
While flying up to the ceiling,
Do you think that things will change?
And if you don’t speak
Instead of saying too much like you used to,
Do you think you should be proud?
And if you like both of them,
Tell them that they’re beautiful,
Do you think that they will love you more?
And if you lie in bed and think
All the thoughts that you push back during the day,
Do you think that they will go away?
And if, finally, you write about it,
Pour your heart out in a red notebook,
Do you think that years from now, you will remember what on earth you were talking about?

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17 thoughts on “And If You

  1. Chloe [Photographer] says:

    i asked myself some of these questions just today.
    i still dont know the answers .. maybe one day i will, or perhaps never?

    x

  2. Haha! What a fantastic ending! I think part of the reason I was never very good at journaling was because I wanted to write every little detail and I never got through anything … but deep down I think the reason I write all the deets is because a few years from now I will have completely forgotten about it!

    • Thanks! Can you believe that I had to go up and see what you meant, though? This is one of those things I wrote that seemed to come from somewhere inexplicable and which I didn’t really understand until reading it over again.

      I know, I always feel so pressured when journaling because I wanted to put EVERYTHING in.

  3. Erin M says:

    I tore up sooo many years’ worth of notebooks full of things I wanted to forget. Now I try to have a policy of not writing down anything I don’t want to remember. But sometimes I still end up writing down the rotten parts. It really helps to write things down; it’s cathartic or whatnot. Maybe I should have a separate notebook for negative thoughts . . .

    Anyway, loved this piece!

    • That’s interesting, Erin – see, I’ve always wanted to remember the sucky times as well. Do you find that it helps you to get rid of the bad stuff? Does it feel like closure of a sort?

      • Erin M says:

        Haha, I’m not sure whether it helps or not; I probably just enjoy being in denial. I don’t move on very easily, so when I’m surrounded by things (e.g. notebooks) that remind me of the past, it makes it harder. Also I worry about getting hit by a bus or something and then having my notebooks being left for people to read all the incriminating evidence about my life. Not that anyone except immediate family is going to want to read them. But that’s who I’m most worried about. XD

        Or maybe it’s more like . . . “The Telltale Heart.” Kind of exactly like that. But metaphorically, you know. ^_^”

        *hopes no one sends her to the madhouse*

        xoxo

  4. What a great piece! Everything, from the title to the last word is beautifully done. I hesitate to say because it is moribund, but this would be fantastic as part of an euology. I don’t mean that in any sort of ill manner, I assure you, but it’s breathiness and exposition are vibrant. Well done!

    • Thanks, J.W. – I’m absolutely okay with anything moribund (which, by the way, is one of my favorite words) and so I’m taking this as a compliment. I know you don’t mean to imply that I should kill someone in order to use this as a eulogy :P.

  5. I love the part about wondering whether you’d remember what you were writing about, years later. It is my experience that you don’t. You remember the feeling more than the circumstance.

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