Held Breath

“Breathe in, deeply, to a slow count of four. Hold your breath for another count of four. Let it out, slowly, gently, to a count of eight, so that every gasp of air in your lungs is let out. This way you’re cleansing yourself, letting out all the dirt and old air that’s been in your lungs for a while.” – Yoga teacher

“Breathe with both your mouth and your nose, and feel the air going into your stomach, your diaphragm and your chest. Good. Now hold it and feel the air inside you. All that air, and the power to keep it inside, that’s all the air you can sing with. You can hold a note for longer if you control your breathing this way.” – Vocal coach

“Oh, this came out blurry. Look, let’s try again, and try holding your breath when you click down.” – Friend, on photography

“Huh, yeah right. Don’t hold your breath, it’s never going to happen.” – Character in a nightmare

***

It feels like I’m always holding my breath, waiting for something or other. Soon, the waiting, the holding pattern, the in-between-time will be over. Soon I’ll be able to let the air out and take another breath.

Is This What Christmas Is Like?

My heart feels all warm and toasty, as if I’ve wrapped it up with a colorful, comfy, soft woolen scarf. The anticipation is mounting in me and I feel that the closer I come to the thing I’m waiting for, the more this incredible excitement and tension will rise in me. I’m close to bursting, and I’ve had more than a few times today when my face has broken into a grin without me being ready for it. I actually enjoyed work, and felt it passed quickly and easily, as my thoughts were elsewhere anyway.

I can only imagine that my extreme joy and happiness over this childish, silly, unimportant thing is what the wait for Christmas must feel like for everyone who celebrates it and has good memories from it. However, my anticipation is for something farther away and much more materialistic than Christmas. In fact, it is with some degree of trepidation that I reveal what it is I’m so excited about, because it is basically… well, a dollhouse.

A digital dollhouse. With incredible graphics. And awesome gameplay. It’s called The Sims 3!!!! Yes, yet ANOTHER Sims game! Coming out Feruary 20th, in the US at least, it’s the thing I’m waiting for most of all now, and it is so stupid and so insane to be waiting for a silly computer game.

You may now mock me. Or stare at the post with an expression of “huh?” Or you can browse this and see a worthless, silly little girl and think to yourself “Wow, she is such a silly little girl.” You may do all that, but remember, I beg of you, that I haven’t had a silly, pointless thing to look forward to in a long time, and I hope I shall be forgiven for it.